39. The Cuban Missile Crisis
Night of: Alcohol in tandem with cigar smoking; occurs with greatest frequency at bachelor parties.
Symptoms: In severe cases, symptoms include “cometing,” (coughing and vomiting simultaneously).
Cure: A foot-long sandwich of ham, turkey, pickles, cheese, and mustard (AKA “The Cuban Sandwich Crisis”).
22. The Great White North
Night of: Labatt’s and Seagram’s 7.
Symptoms: Headache, Canadian accent.
Cure: Anything from Tim Horton’s.
35. The Dead Soul
Night of: Vodka interspersed throughout any number of other drinks.
Symptoms: Nausea, acceptance of serfdom.
Cure: “In proportion as the exploitation of one individual by another is put an end to, the exploitation of one nation by another will also be put an end to. In proportion as the antagonism between classes within the nation vanishes, the hostility of one nation to another will come to an end.”
(Source: College Humor)